TITLE: Who Wants To Live Forever
AUTHOR: Lady Lark
PAIRING: Bulma/Vegeta
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Death, angst
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the rights to any of the DBZ characters contained within. This is based off of the song "Who Wants to Live Forever" by Queen (covered by Dune). 
NOTES: I am going through some difficult times right now and need a catharsis. This story is it.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Thanks to Mia Skywalker for beta'ing this.
* = Song Lyrics

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Who Wants To Live Forever
part 1

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*There's no time for us*

"Ms. Briefs, I have the results of your mammogram and yearly physical. I'm afraid the results aren't good. I'm sorry but you have cancer."

"No. It's not possible. I'm perfectly healthy," Bulma denied in a stunned voice.

"I know you feel that way now. But the results are clear. You have a malignant growth in your left breast. We can try to perform a lumpectomy but the growth is very large and may have already infected the surrounding tissue. We may have no choice but to perform a mastectomy."

Bulma blanched. "Is there a way to find out if it has spread first before . . . before you take my breast?"

"No, I don't think that there is. But I am just a family practitioner. I am going to refer you to an oncologist, a Dr. David Sharp. He will know more about this than I do. He's here in the same building, so you can probably bully your way into see him."

Bulma smiled at this, "You know me too well, Mark."

Mark Yamamoto returned the smile, "Well I was Gohan's roommate while at University so I heard a lot of stories. I'm just sorry that I had to do this to one of his friends."

"I am too."

"Here let me walk you down. It's the least I can do."

"You got that, buster!" Bulma replied getting off of the examination table. She was in shock and she knew it. All that she could think of were the awful words "you have cancer." How was she going to handle this? How would her children handle this? Oh God, how would Vegeta handle it?

Just as Mark had predicted, she bullied her way in to see the oncologist. David Sharp was a heavyset man in his late fifties with salt and peppered curly hair. He was a surprising jovial man considering his profession, but Dr. Sharp's diagnosis anything but jovial.

Looking at the results of the mammogram and physical, he ordered a nurse to join them and told her to remove her shirt so he could perform an examination. He quietly probed her breast with sure fingers, feeling for the lump he knew was there.

"Does this hurt at all?"

"It's tender on the inside of my breast, not the outside."

"Hmmm. There's some dimpling there. I agree with Dr. Yamamoto's assessment. You do have breast cancer."

"But how is that possible? I'm healthy and there is no family history of breast cancer," she said in a slightly dazed voice.

The doctor sighed and motioned for her to sit up. He handed her a smock to protect her modesty and started to talk in quiet voice.

"I know the statistics say that if your family doesn't have a history of breast cancer then the chance of you contracting this form of cancer is very rare. But statistics are just that, statistics. There is a 10% chance of a woman with no family history getting this cancer. But unfortunately Ms. Briefs, you are in that percent."

"But what did I do to get this? I mean I followed the rules. I don't smoke. I only drink socially and I avoid the sun."

"Breast cancer isn't like other cancers. There are no known causes. We only know that women with a family history have a higher chance of developing this cancer than other women."

"What can I do? What treatment do you suggest?" Bulma asked in a shaky voice.

"Well, I am going to start you on Prednisone to try and stop the spread of the cancer. And I recommend a mastectomy. Preferably a double one, the growth is on the inside of your left breast and may have spread to the right. Then, if you go through with the operation, we are going to schedule you for some radiation therapy. If you choose not to go through with the mastectomy, we can try a lumpectomy and then heavy radiation along with intensive chemotherapy, " he paused for a breath and continued, "Those are the two options. Both of them involve an operation, we have to remove that growth.

"If you choose to the first option, your chances for survival are probably better and we can have plastic surgery done to restore your breasts later after the cancer has gone into remission. If you choose the second option, your chances for survival do decrease but you will retain your breasts and there is a chance of forcing the cancer into remission. However, you will be in a great deal of pain and you will be more susceptible to disease because the chemotherapy and radiation will lower your immune system. But it is your choice."

"Can I have some time to think about this?" Bulma asked.

"Yes. But I want you to start taking Prednisone now to inhibit further growth of the cancerous cells."

She nodded absently her mind was racing.

~*~

*There's no place for us*

She stumbled in the door, a dazed look on her face. She wasn't sure how she managed the drive home. She had stopped by the pharmacy to pick up her prescription.

Now she had to tell her family. She was fairly sure how her children would handle it. Trunks would bluster and try not to cry and Bra would be shocked into silence and then start crying softly. Vegeta was the unknown. She had no idea how he would react. Would he belittle her for her weakness or would he try to comfort her or would he stare at her in icy silence. She didn't know and she was scared. Thankfully she didn't have to tell her parents. They had died a year ago when their aircar malfunctioned. But she wished that her mother were here so she could cry on her shoulder.

Bulma looked at the clock in the hall. It was 5:00 p.m. now. Bra would be home from classes at 8:00 p.m. and Trunks should be home from the office in about a half an hour.

She moved to the back window and peered out. The light on the Gravity Room was on signaling that someone was training inside. She smiled to herself. Even though there were no more enemies and no Goku to fight, her husband still trained diligently.

She sighed to herself. There was no use in telling them separately so she would have to wait until Bra came home. And she didn't want to ruin dinner for her Saiyajin family, so that meant after dinner. So now she knew the time. Now she needed to find the place.

It had to be someplace where she was comfortable and someplace where all of them could sit. She also acknowledged that it needed to be a place without breakable objects or else they might get destroyed in the wake of Trunks' temper. She walked around the house assessing and rejecting rooms. She walked past the back door again and looked out and found her spot. Out on the lawn, beside her mother's rose garden were several chairs and a table. She could draw strength from her mother's legacy and not have to worry about mass destruction.

She sighed again. Now she just had to distract herself long enough so that she wouldn't give away too much before she told them.

Maybe the best thing to do would be to go about her daily routine. Although this day was hardly routine.

~*~

*What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us*

Something was wrong with the woman. Vegeta could feel it. They were bonded and the bond enhanced his ability to sense his mate's emotions.

And right now his mate was in a state of turmoil.

He stopped his training. He had better go see what was wrong before she came storming in interrupting his training anyway.

He entered the house to see the woman, his woman he thought with pride, making dinner. Vegeta smiled. Bulma was a tolerable cook but she was nowhere as good as Kakarot's mate. But she was prettier and smarter, and that more than made up for it. He cleared his throat and she jumped, startled.

"What's wrong, woman?" expecting her to reply with a flippant "Nothing." Instead Bulma paused and looked at him, her eyes troubled.

"I'll tell you later. After dinner," she responded quietly.

Vegeta was troubled but accepted her answer. He knew from experience that if she didn't want to tell him then she wouldn't and she would only get angry if he pushed her.

"When will dinner be ready, woman?"

"Eight-fifteen. I expect you to be here on time and showered. Do you understand me, your royal pain in the butt?" Bulma replied trying to be her normal self and falling flat.

"I will be here," he responded without his typical insults about her cooking.

He left the kitchen and returned to the Gravity Room to continue his training. But his heart wasn't in it. He was worried about his woman. But still, the two and a half-hours passed quickly. The brat came home and joined him in the Gravity Room. Sparring with his son distracted him from the woman.

Vegeta and Trunks cleaned up and joined Bra and Bulma in the kitchen for dinner. The brats didn't notice their mother's silence during dinner, but Vegeta did. It was further evidence that something was wrong since she normally talked endlessly about her projects. Bulma cleared her throat, interrupting his speculations.

"After dinner, I want us to go outside. I have something to tell you," she said quietly.

"Sure Mom. What's up?" chimed Bra.

"I'll tell you after dinner. You can leave the dishes though until later. I'll do them tonight," Bulma replied.

"Woohoo!" crowed Trunks. It was the brat's week to do them and he hated doing the dishes.

"Is everyone finished?" Bulma asked tremulously. It looked to Vegeta that she half wanted dinner to be over and half wanted it never to end.

"Yes," growled Vegeta forestalling any arguments from his brats.

Bulma looked at him sharply but nodded and said, "Let's go outside then."

Bra and Trunks looked at each other and shrugged. Vegeta could see that his brats were as confused by Bulma's behavior as he was. However, they followed their mother out to the edge of the rose garden.

The woman motioned for them to sit down. Vegeta refused as usual but Bulma shook her head.

"Please, Vegeta. Just this once."

He looked at her sharply trying to sense what was wrong with her through their bond. Her mind was walled up, so all he could detect was a sense of turmoil and despair.

"Get on with it, Woman."

Bulma took a deep breath and started, "I went to the doctor today for my annual check up and he found something . . ." she paused and took another deep breath.

"I have breast cancer."

"No!?" cried Bra and then she sat back in her chair stunned. Tears started streaming down her cheeks.

"What!?" yelled Trunks at the same time. He stood up violently knocking his chair over and started pacing. "How did this happen, Mom? You're only fifty-seven!" His voice cracked and he tried to speak again but couldn't manage words.

Vegeta spoke quietly, "What is this breast cancer?"

Bulma looked shocked and then started laughing. "You know, I predicted how Trunks and Bra would react and I was right. But I didn't expect you to ask this."

Vegeta looked a little hurt but repeated, "What is this breast cancer?"

Bulma took a breath and answered, "I don't have a good explanation. The simplest is that it is a disease. Cancer is when certain cells in your body start growing uncontrollably and if unchecked they spread to other parts of your body and you die. The kind I have started growing in my breast."

"Can it be cured?" Vegeta asked flatly.

"It depends. Sometimes yes. Sometimes no."

"Can you be cured?"

"I don't know. It depends on how the treatment goes. Right now I have to make a choice. I have to choose what kind of treatment I am going to pursue. With cancer, there are no second chances. If the treatment doesn't work, then I will die," she stated softly.

"Wh-what are the choices Momma?" Bra asked tearfully.

"I can have just the lump removed and undergo intensive chemotherapy and radiation. Or-or I can have my breasts removed and undergo radiation. Those are the only two things the doctor thinks will work."

Trunks stopped pacing. "Which one has the better chance for survival?"

"The doctor thinks the second option does."

"Then you have to go with that option, Mom! I can't lose you!" cried Trunks.

Bulma's control finally snapped and she leapt out of her chair. "It's not that easy! My breasts are a part of me. They are part of what makes me a woman! I - I just can't sacrifice my womanhood . . ." she broke off and sank to the ground sobbing.

Vegeta looked at his mate and then at his brats. The walls she had up earlier were down. He could see all of the indecision and fear that she had been hiding.

"Go inside, brats. I'll take care of your mother," Vegeta ordered.

Trunks started to protest but his father quelled his words with a hard stare. Bra stood up and gave her mother a hug then grabbed her brother in a fierce hold.

"Momma needs to be alone right now, and I need to have someone with me. Daddy will make sure she is ok. Okay?" Bra told her brother.

Trunks looked at his mother's crumpled form and allowed himself to be dragged back to the house.

Vegeta made sure that the brats were in the house before pulling his mate into his arms.

"I- I can't handle this, Vegeta," she sobbed.

She looked up at the stars and took a few deep breaths. Her head leaned back against his shoulder. He could see the streaks of wetness that coursed down her cheeks. He could feel her trembling in his embrace.

"I don't know what to do," she continued a few minutes later, her voice more in control. "Part of me screams to take the option that has the greatest chance for success. But another part screams just as loudly that by removing my breasts I will no longer be a woman."

"You will always be a woman in my eyes, woman. Your breasts are just a small part of that."

"Hey are you saying my breasts are small, buster?" Bulma tried to joke.

"Hmph," he responded.

They stood there a few minutes longer in silence before she spoke again.

"Thank you, Vegeta. I needed this. I need you. I couldn't bear it if you deserted me now. I have to be strong for the children's sakes. But I can't be strong all the time."

"I will give you my strength."

She smiled and then turned so that they were facing each other.

"With your strength I'll be certain to live forever," she whispered.

*Who wants to live forever 
Who wants to live forever?*