A Light in the Darkness - Part 42: Shadows of the Past
by Mia Skywalker & Wataruo

PAIRING: Yamcha/Hakusai, Bulma/Vegeta
RATING: NC-17
WARNINGS: Lemon, angst
DISCLAIMER: Neither of us owns any of the DBZ characters or anything about DBZ, but we both wish we owned the Saiyans. All of them. At least all of the ones with hair. And yes, we're including Yamcha in that, now you know. These characters are owned by Toei, Viz, Akira Toriyama, and FUNimation, even though the last one is a crying shame. We do own what we've written here, and our specific storyline, just not Dragonball itself. We make no money off of any of these guys, nor off this fic. We just have fun writing it.
SUMMARY: Bulma and Vegeta learn about Yamcha's newly acquired characteristics, and they all learn more of his heritage.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Thanks to saiyengerl for beta'ing!

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Last time on Dragonball Z: A Light in the Darkness....

Yamcha picked up another piece of dim sum, and chewed it thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know if 'like' is the right word. I'm comfortable in the desert, so I guess I like it. That's where my mother abandoned me, but I think maybe she was hoping that I'd die. I grew up there after that. It's where I met Pu'ar." He looked at the two women while he chewed and swallowed. "I think it's where we might have lived, though. So maybe she liked the desert, too. I don't really know. But if we want to find whatever it was that she had, it would be in the desert somewhere." He was thoughtful for several minutes, and then his face brightened. "You know, I think I know where it might be!"

Hakusai grinned at Yamcha's enthusiasm but inwardly cringed. She really disliked the heat, all Southerners did. But she would put up with it if she could be with Yamcha. This sudden need to be with him all the time took her a little by surprise but she simply accepted it like she always did and picked up another piece of dim-sum and started chewing. "Hmm, then if you know where it is we can go looking later. Maybe I might even know who she was." She grinned when he looked at her surprised. "Females were very rare on Vegeta-sei. Eighty percent of the population was male, so if a female was born they were protected more. And they were expected to have another profession other than being a soldier. Your mother's profession must have been biochemistry."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Bulma woke that morning, to a snug and comforting warmth next to her. She opened her eyes to see Vegeta holding her close, his face almost soft-looking in his sleep. She smiled at the relaxed expression on his face, and was loathe to awaken him and spoil it. She looked at him for several minutes, and then realized that she was going to have to get up soon. She slipped her arm out from where it was pinned by his, and touched his face gently. He didn't stir, and she smiled, happiness in her eyes. She reached forward and kissed him softly on the lips, not sure if she really wanted him to wake up or not, but wanting to see his eyes, his smile, to hear his voice.

Vegeta awoke the moment he felt Bulma stir, but he didn't move. He waited, completely still, when her fingers touched his face, wanting to see what she would do next. When Bulma brushed her mouth across his, he reacted instinctively to her touch, and before she could move, he had her pinned underneath him and looking up into his eyes.

"Morning woman," he grumbled at her before he lowered his head to kiss her deeply.

Bulma smiled up at him, happiness bubbling up from deep inside of her. Twenty-four hours ago she'd been in the depths of despair, wanting to die, thinking she was dying. Now the man that she loved was back with her, and she thought that nothing could possibly be any better. And he had told her that he loved her. He loved her! She returned his kiss, and let her hands run lightly down his sides, feeling the silky softness of his skin. ::Ai shiteru, Vegeta:: she thought at him, wanting to let him know how she felt.

::I know:: he replied, his breath catching when she ran her hands down his sides. ::Keep that up, woman, and we won't be getting out of bed today:: he warned her before lowering his mouth to hers again. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, teasing her before he nipped at it. Vegeta trailed kisses along her jaw, to her earlobe, and nuzzled that sensitive part of her body.

::You know? I tell you I love you, and all you can say is that you know?:: She tried to sound outraged, but it was almost impossible, since she was drowning in his kisses. Her toes curled up under the covers when he licked the tip of her earlobe and nibbled it. ::Well, if that's all you can say....:: She pretended to try to roll out from under him and move away, but one hand drifted down his back and to his backside, stroking it gently, even as she did so.

Vegeta smiled against her skin, the peevishness in her tone signaled that she wanted him to return the endearment. ::You know I love you, woman. Why should I have to tell you when I can show you so much better?:: He moved his mouth from her ear to her neck to tease her skin with his tongue for a few moments before moving downward to her breast. Vegeta sucked at the nipple through the material of her nightgown and smiled again when she drew in a breath.

Bulma smiled softly, her body straining against his, trying to press him closer. ::I may 'know' it, Vegeta, but sometimes I might forget. And it is nice to hear every now and then, so I know that you haven't forgotten!:: When his hands wandered down to her hips, she sighed, parting her legs to let him settle between them. Her hands drifted back up his spine, stroking the smooth skin between his shoulder blades, and she arched up into him. ::I don't need to hear it very often, Vegeta. Just two or three times an hour will do, I think.::

Vegeta chuckled. ::Is that all?:: he asked sounding amused. He managed to get her nightgown off by lifting her slightly, and pulled it up over her head after she lifted her arms for him. After he removed her clothing, he settled more firmly between her thighs, his arousal nudging at her entrance, seeking her warmth. He brought his mouth back to hers again and satisfied himself by kissing her slowly as his tail came up to caress the skin on her breasts, belly and thighs. ::That isn't too much to ask I think.::

::I didn't think so:: she agreed, before she went completely incoherent from his caresses. She squirmed under him, feeling his manhood prodding at her opening, and she deliberately slid herself down to sheathe him inside of her. They both moaned at the contact, and she moved against him hungrily. He thrust into her in turn, kissing her fiercely, his tail continuing to tease her nipples, making her whimper. Her hands clenched against his back, her fingernails digging into the skin, drawing blood unconsciously.

It didn't take long for both of them to climax, both of them shouting out their pleasure for any that cared to hear. They lay there for a time, just enjoying each other's closeness and heartbeat before the comfortable silence was broken by Vegeta's stomach rumbling. Vegeta chuckled, rolled onto his back taking Bulma with him and he smiled up at her. "Let's get something to eat. I am hungry, woman."

Bulma snuggled against him, rubbing her cheek against his neck, and sighed. "All right," she murmured softly. She stood up and stretched, then realized she was nude, and blushed. She glanced at Vegeta, smiling shyly. Suddenly she remembered what had happened the day before, and her smile faded as her eyes widened anxiously. "We should check on the others, see how Yamcha is coming in the regeneration tank."

"Why worry about that trash?" he grumbled. "He is already out of the tank and downstairs with that woman." He sat up, swung his legs out of the bed, and stood up. He did not notice the way Bulma blushed at his unabashed nudity. "Let's get going." He strolled over to where Bulma was standing and nipped the end of her nose.

Bulma frowned. "He's not trash, he's my friend." Then her eyes narrowed. "Or am I trash, too?" she asked him with a dangerous note in her voice. "And don't say that I'm different, because I'm just as human as he is!"

Vegeta snorted. "You are different. You are my mate and in a much different class than him," he stated much to Bulma's annoyance. "And you should teach your friends better manners."

"First off, I'm not responsible for teaching my friends manners. Second off, your manners are FAR more deplorable than his! And third off...." Bulma glared at him. "I am NOT different from him! Don't try to excuse everything with 'she's different, she's my mate', because that will NOT fly with me!"

"No?" he asked while giving her one of his famous smirks. "It works for me. And my manners are fine." He knew that would get another rise out of her. He really didn't have to make her angry to get her to pay attention to him, not anymore. But he couldn't resist the temptation. "Want me to prove it?"

"You are the most insensitive, obnoxious, rude, irritating, overbearing, ill-mannered... SAIYAN! That I ever had the misfortune to meet!" She flounced into her closet, and came out a few minutes later, fully dressed. "You can just find your OWN breakfast then!" she shouted, storming out the door.

Once outside she smiled slightly. She wasn't really as angry as she was pretending to be, even though he was being irritating. She knew it was going to be hard work getting him to accept her friends, but she was determined that he would do so. If he didn't, then he wasn't really accepting her, and that bothered her. ::He doesn't have to like them, he just has to accept them!:: she thought as she headed downstairs towards the kitchen.

Vegeta waited until he heard Bulma's footsteps on the stairs then started to laugh. If there was one thing he really enjoyed it was her tirades. He reached over, picked up his body suit and got dressed. A few minutes later, he arrived in the kitchen and promptly glared at Yamcha.

The woman who claimed to be his sister merely raised an eyebrow at him. "Looks like you're feeling better," she observed, although they couldn't tell if she was referring to Bulma or Vegeta. "We saved some breakfast for you." She sat back in her chair and looked over at Bulma. Hakusai smiled, as she noticed with considerable relief that Bulma was looking much better. "So... Bulma, right? Care to go treasure hunting later?"

Bulma swiftly noted that Yamcha was looking much better than before. In fact, she noticed that there was something different about him, but wasn't sure what. Was he a little taller? More muscular? But that didn't make sense; the regeneration tank shouldn't have really changed him. She did notice with a brief pang of regret that his scars were gone. Although she hadn't liked them at first, they'd eventually grown on her, and she realized that they'd given his face character. In a way it was too bad that they were gone like that, although as she looked him over critically, she realized that with his face and physique, he could probably get a job as a male model. ::Not like he doesn't make enough money playing baseball!::

She smiled at him, ignoring Vegeta's scowl. "I see you're better. I'm glad. If Vegeta had killed you, I probably would have had to punish him." She looked mildly at Vegeta, as though studying an insect. Then she looked curiously at Hakusai. "Treasure hunting? For what?"

"Why, Yamcha's past, of course," Hakusai said smiling. "Turns out that Yamcha here is half-Saiyan." She grinned over at him. "Not that I think he likes the idea much."

"What are you talking about woman?" Vegeta snapped. "He is not Saiyan."

Hakusai merely pointed to Yamcha's waist. "See for yourself," she said smugly.

Vegeta snorted but did as Hakusai suggested. When Vegeta's head snapped back over to her, she smirked at him. "You see. We figured out that his mother was probably a biochemist. Had to be to alter his genetic code. So she would've needed some sort of equipment. If we find it then maybe we can find out where she went, who she was and maybe who his father was. And that's what we need to borrow Bulma for. She has the knowledge for that kind of thing."

Bulma stared at Yamcha in surprise, for so long that he was starting to feel uncomfortable. "Why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked him after staring at him for several long minutes.

He looked away in embarrassment. "I didn't know. You know...."

Then Bulma remembered something he hadn't told her about until they'd been dating for quite a while; that his mother had abandoned him as a young child, which is why he'd turned to brigandry. "Oh. I see." She looked back from one to the other of them, glancing briefly at Vegeta to see how he was handling it. "The tail might be a problem," she pointed out to him. "You remember what happened with Goku."

Yamcha put a hand behind his head sheepishly. "They tell me that it will keep growing back. Doesn't matter how often we cut it off, it'll come back."

"Then why didn't Goku's?" Bulma's brow furrowed. "Not since he married Chi-Chi at least, has it?"

"Kakarotto's brat told me his mother cuts it off," Vegeta explained, still eyeing Yamcha with what could almost be called a thoughtful expression.

"Cuts it off?" Hakusai looked distinctly sick. "Someone has got to tell him what a tail is for. Isn't that right, Yamcha?" She winked over at Yamcha who blushed furiously.

Vegeta snorted. "It's a miracle that Kakarotto even managed to reproduce."

"Cuts it off?" Bulma frowned. Chi-Chi hadn't known anything about their Oozaru changes, so that couldn't have been why. It was probably that 'normalcy' status she always seemed to crave. Although why she married Goku if she'd wanted a normal life was beyond Bulma. There was no way that anyone married to Goku - or even associated with him - could have anything even remotely resembling a normal life. If she'd wanted to be normal, she should have stayed as far away from Goku as possible, and married someone else, someone ordinary and unexciting, but not Goku.

"No, she shouldn't cut it off. But Goku probably wouldn't have known how to use it anyway," she commented. "At least he's no longer doing pat-pats like he did as a kid."

Yamcha shot her a sudden grin, sharing a joke that only the two of them knew.

"A what?" Vegeta asked, not in the least liking the way the two of them were smiling at each other.

"Got me," Hakusai commented, unconsciously imitating Vegeta's tone of voice. Hakusai felt a twinge of jealousy at the way Yamcha was smiling at Bulma, and then sighed inwardly. ::Get used to it, girl. He loved Bulma for a long time, and who knows, he may love her still.:: "Would you mind enlightening us?"

"Well...." said Bulma, pausing dramatically and still sharing the private joke with Yamcha. "When he was very little - when I first met him – he didn't know how to tell boys from girls. So he would... pat everyone on the crotch to find out what they were." She rolled her eyes in irritation, although she was still smiling. "I did my damnedest to break him of that, but I never really did succeed. I can only assume that once he learned to tell men and women apart that he no longer did that."

Vegeta and Hakusai shared a look, and then started laughing. "You have got to be kidding!" Hakusai managed to gasp out. When Yamcha simply smiled she laughed harder.

"I knew he was an idiot but this...." Vegeta shook his head, still smirking.

"You know what they say about Easterners," Hakusai said, grinning at Vegeta.

"Looks like it is true." The two of them shared a grin. But Hakusai looked away and spoke up again. "So, Bulma, are you coming with us?"

Bulma blinked at her. "Am I allowed to eat first?" she asked facetiously.

"Hmmm, I suppose." Hakusai pretended to look thoughtful. "Wouldn't want you to starve your kid to death."

Vegeta frowned. He had momentarily forgotten that Bulma was pregnant. "And make sure you eat more than you normally do," he ordered her. "You'll be eating for the brat as well."

Hakusai shook her head. "He or she is a child, Vegeta, not a brat."

"He is my brat and I'll call him what I wish," Vegeta said glaring at her.

"He is also my nephew. I intend to look out for him and my new sister-in-law. Or haven't you gone through the ritual yet?"

"It's not your concern," Vegeta grumbled. ::What is it with that woman?:: he wondered as he started to eat. "You still owe me an explanation."

"For what?" she asked and linked her fingers together in front of her.

"Where you came from, woman," he snapped.

"Vegeta-sei," she said grinning at him. "But I only spent my first three years there. I was there sporadically later, but you were off-world by that time. Otusan never did like me much."

"I can't imagine why."

Hakusai ignored that particular remark and continued. "Well, after Mom gave birth to you, Otusan gave her permission to take me and leave. So we settled on Kassan."

"I see how you survived, then," Vegeta said, watching his sister with some interest. "You weren't there."

Hakusai nodded her agreement. "Nope. I think you were five or six years old ^[1] when Frieza came and got you. And the rest you know."

Bulma was getting irritated by Vegeta's attitude. He orders her to eat, and then ignores her. She calmly took several pieces of dim sum and put them on a plate for herself, then picked up a bowl of stew and casually upturned it over Vegeta's head. "That's what will happen to you every time you try to command me that way. I'm not a soldier of yours or a servant. You don't order me around, Vegeta. You ask!"

Hakusai chuckled. "Now that has to hurt his pride," she commented to Yamcha as she watched Vegeta calmly picking pieces of stew off of himself.

He was tempted to be angry, very tempted. But he realized that she did have a point, one that he would never admit to, but he understood it. She was not his servant, she was his wife. ::Or at least she will be.:: "Trying to drown me, woman?" he asked mildly as he flicked a piece of carrot off his shoulder.

"I would say she is putting you in your place," Hakusai said wryly.

Vegeta was sorely tempted to beat the living hell out of Hakusai, just to put her in her place. The way the older woman smiled at him put him on edge. ::Stop it:: he commanded himself. ::You do not need her approval.::

Bulma nonchalantly ate her breakfast, then got up and began packing several of her capsule cases into a small pack, which she strapped around her waist like a belt. She noticed the others eyeing her curiously and shrugged. "I've learned that it pays to be prepared. You don't think we survived on Namek on just our looks, do you? If I hadn't been prepared, those boys would never have survived without me." 

She buckled the case while she muttered, "For all the thanks I got. Did they ever bother to tell me how much they appreciated me? Noooo! They abandoned me, so that Vegeta attacked me when I was all by myself, and those awful men of Frieza's tried to capture me, and I almost got eaten, and I had to get that dragonball by myself.... But did any of them care? No, they were having way too much fun!" Bulma didn't even seem aware that she was muttering aloud, so involved was she in her little tirade.

Hakusai blinked in surprise. "Ah, Yamcha does she always do this kind of thing?" When he gave her a blank look she continued. "Mutter to herself?"

"Must be the pregnancy," Vegeta commented.

Hakusai shrugged. "Possibly."

Bulma glared at the three of them indiscriminately. "Well, then see if I'll help any of YOU!" She stalked out of the room, slamming the door hard enough that the windows shivered.

"Hey!" Yamcha protested. "I didn't say anything!" He got up and started to follow her out.

"Well, then, come on!" she hollered at him, sounding irritated. "I'm not going to wait all day!"

"Oh brother," Hakusai chuckled. "I can see why you married her. She's got spunk."

"Somehow I don't think that will make her feel better," Vegeta said as he strode to the door. "She'll feel better once she gets alien technology to tinker with."

"I bet. Geniuses are a temperamental lot aren't they?" Hakusai followed them out and looked up at Yamcha. "Which way?" she asked.

Yamcha blinked, then stared northward and frowned. "I'm not sure exactly.... It's been a long time. I was very young. I think I'll remember if I see it. Let's go." He took off towards the desert again.

"I really hate the desert," Hakusai muttered before she took off after him, leaving Bulma and Vegeta the only ones on the ground. Vegeta strolled over and scooped her up. "Saves time, if we travel this way," he grumbled at her before taking to the air and followed the other two.

Bulma clutched at his shoulders, not entirely sure if she liked flying like this or if she hated it. On the one hand it was exhilarating, feeling the wind against her face, but on the other hand it made a complete mess of her hair. And she hated looking anything other than absolutely perfect.

Yamcha flew on, going more by instinct than memory. He didn't honestly remember exactly where he used to live, just that it was somewhere in this direction. Or at least, he remembered something in this direction. Now that he thought about it more, he didn't think that his mother had lived here with him. They'd come to the desert occasionally, for reasons he'd never understood, and she had abandoned him here, but he suspected that she really had hoped that he would die. It wasn't a very pleasant thought, knowing that your parent had wanted you dead, but he wondered somehow that she was hoping that he wouldn't make it. Maybe she had assumed that his human heritage would make him weak, especially since she'd removed all traces of his Saiyan heritage.

He frowned at that thought. She had gone through a lot of effort - or at least, he was assuming it was a lot of effort - to make him look and seem completely human. If she'd truly hated him and wanted him dead, why would she have bothered? ::But if she cared, why did she leave me like that to die?::

A memory was tickling the back of his mind, of a place that they had once visited out in the desert. He had a vague feeling that the reason she had used that locale was because it was less likely to be stumbled upon, not because she particularly 'liked' the desert. He paused, trying to get his bearings, trying to remember where it had been. The problem was that he had been a child, and hadn't been able to fly... or had he? 

A memory rose unbidden, of him clinging to his mother's back as she flew over the desert. Yes, there it was. And he remembered the landmarks. He looked around, seeing nothing similar, then looked up at the sun. They were too far west; he had to go a ways east first. He made a sharp turn and headed northeast, somehow sensing that from there he'd be able to eventually recognize the route they used to take.

"I hope he knows where he is going. I'd rather not be stuck out here longer than I have to," Vegeta grumbled to Bulma as he flew behind Yamcha and Hakusai. He flew at a much slower pace than he was used to. He saw no reason to frighten Bulma, so he decided to go slow, until she was more comfortable flying this way.

Hakusai sighed as Yamcha made a sharp turn and changed directions. ::Great. I am going to melt to death before we even get there.:: She was feeling somewhat nauseous from the heat and hoped that they'd get to wherever they were going quickly.

Bulma glanced up at Vegeta, startled. "Why? Does the heat bother you? I thought you Saiyans could tolerate anything!" She pushed her hair back from her face, annoyed with the way the wind was blowing it around. She wished she'd thought to at least braid it back like she had when she was younger and adventuring around, but she'd been too irritated to take the time. Now she regretted it, because her irritation with the Saiyans was going to cost her.

Yamcha continued to scan the ground as he flew for several minutes, before abruptly picking up speed. He continued on then for several more minutes, before stopping almost abruptly. He scanned the ground again and turned slowly, as though trying to remember what things looked like from a particular angle. When one angle was suddenly familiar to him, he broke out into a smile, and then flew in that direction.

"No, the heat doesn't bother me. I'd rather be alone with you," he said gruffly." His voice may have been harsh, but when he looked down at her for a moment, his eyes had softened considerably. "Leave your hair alone. It's fine. And no, this is not a command. It's a suggestion."

"Well, my hair bothers me, and I need it out of my face. So if you'll just leave me be...!" she snapped at him, somewhat acerbically.

Hakusai smiled when Yamcha changed directions again. He was going faster, she noted, and that was a good sign. ::See something you recognize Yamcha-chan?:: she asked privately.

Yamcha was too busy concentrating on what he was searching for to pay any attention to Hakusai's question. He kept his eyes trained on the ground, trying to see it the way a young child would have seen it. They saw him zigzag a few times, as though getting his bearings more accurately, and he slowed down and sped up several times as well. The land they were in was becoming more rugged and less hospitable the further they traveled. They'd long since ceased to notice any sign of game in the area, only a few scraggly bits of plant life clinging tenaciously to the rocks and soil. These plants had no need for predators to keep their numbers down; the harshness of the environment and the unyielding barrenness of the soil was doing that for them.

Yamcha touched down with a grin in an area that looked just as harsh and inhospitable as any other, and he looked up at them with a grin, waiting for them to land. When the other three touched down on the ground and looked around curiously, he turned... and suddenly disappeared.

Bulma blinked, and then realized that it had been an illusion, but a clever one because it was based solely upon nature. She followed him into a crevasse that effectively hid what was inside from all possible intruders or eyes, including spy satellites, and then gasped at what they found. It wasn't a simple lab, like one that might be built in someone's garage, which was sort of what she'd been expecting. No, this was a laboratory along the lines of her own, but with different technology. She felt a wave of avarice wash over her, and knew that she was going to transport the entire thing to Capsule Corp, no matter how difficult of an undertaking that might be.

Hakusai whistled. "Wow! Would you get a load of this place?" she said looking around, and then she sneezed. "Bit dusty though. I'll bet she hasn't been back here in a long time."

"If she is still alive," Vegeta said hovering rather protectively around Bulma.

"She might have just left, Vegeta." Hakusai leaned over a panel and found the 'on' button. When she pressed it the whole lab was illuminated in bright light. "Why she would leave all this is beyond me." She looked over thoughtfully at Yamcha. "Or it could be that she left this all for you." Hakusai's eyes widened as she read some of the writing on the paneling and grinned. "Some of this I understand. But most of it is out of my field."

Bulma and Hakusai began exploring the laboratory curiously. Yamcha was looking around with a bemused expression, and Vegeta simply stood there scowling. Bulma saw Hakusai place what appeared to be a palmtop computer on a counter, pressing some buttons. "What’s that?" Bulma asked her curiously, since it appeared that the Saiyan woman had been looking for this specifically.

"Her journal," Hakusai replied.

"Journal?" Bulma asked in surprise. "You were expecting her to have one?"

Hakusai nodded. "All of us keep them. Saiyan scientists, that is. At least the females do, and since most males are purely warriors, that means that most scientists are females." She smiled at Bulma’s surprised expression when she glanced up at her. "That surprises you? It shouldn’t. Females are trained as warriors as well, but we’re not usually allowed to fight, since we’re so rare."

"Rare?" Bulma asked curiously.

"Only about twenty percent of all Saiyans born are female. They tend to protect us. So we end up in other fields, like the sciences. It explains why female Saiyans are so much more intelligent than male Saiyans." She winked at Vegeta, who just scowled at her.

Hakusai looked back down at the journal again. "There aren’t many entries. I don’t think she spent a lot of time here. It looks like most of the entries occurred in a two year span, and they were sporadic after that." She looked up at Yamcha. "How old are you?"

"Me? Twenty-seven."

Hakusai looked up at him in surprise for a moment, until Vegeta interrupted. "That’s eighteen of our years, woman. Their years are shorter than Vegeta-sei years."

"I see." Hakusai smiled at Yamcha. She’d wondered for a moment at his age, thinking that he didn’t seem that old. Then she realized with a sudden sharp pang of pity that when Yamcha had said that he’d been abandoned at six or seven, that his six or seven was younger than she’d believed. He’d been barely more than an infant when his mother had left him to fend for himself. It was more than most Saiyans were given, but it was still extremely young. She suppressed the wave of pity that washed over her though, as she sensed that he wouldn’t appreciate it.

She looked through the entries in the journal. "I found one from when you were born," she commented.

Yamcha looked at her tensely. He had no idea what he was expecting, but he was almost afraid. Bulma looked at him, and then back to Hakusai. "Go ahead and read it," she said gently.

Hakusai cleared her throat and began.

"That stupid bastard ningen got me pregnant! He paid for that; I showed him what it meant to get a Saiyan woman pregnant without her permission. Now I’ve got a brat to carry. I considered aborting it, but decided to go ahead and have it. Maybe I can use it later. Some day I may go back to Vegeta-sei. Although what I’d do with a half-breed brat from one of these weak ningen, I don’t know.

"I’ve made some modifications to the fetus. He won’t have a tail; I need to continue to blend in. I’ve arranged it that he won’t have to take the drugs that I have to almost daily in order to keep his ki unnoticeable, too. I’ve artificially altered him so his ki will not be as high as a normal Saiyan’s. I’m not going to allow King Vegeta to find me through him. He will appear as human as I can make him. For all intents and purposes, he will be human. I don’t know what I’ll do with a weak ningen male, but maybe he’ll have some use later on. If nothing else, I can always sell him. These ningen seem to take their brats so seriously, as if they actually care about them! Although who could care about a squalling wrinkled little thing with no practical use whatsoever, I can’t even tell."

Hakusai looked up from her reading, unable to continue for a moment. She knew the woman’s sentiments were common for Saiyans, but the stricken look on Yamcha’s face broke her heart. His mother may have been Saiyan, but he grew up amongst humans, and had hoped for some sign that she might have cared.

The Saiyan woman sighed. "Would you like me to read the next entry? It looks like it was when you were born," she asked him gently. Yamcha nodded, and she continued.

"I have had the child, but am uncertain what to do with it. To leave it as a normal Saiyan child, to fend for himself, seems ludicrous since I’ve turned it into a weak ningen baby. Perhaps if I’d left him his power.... No, that would have led my people directly to me. I can’t chance that, so I made him human. I suppose that means I must raise him. Well, he seems healthy enough, I suppose. I’ll raise him and see how the mixture between ningen and Saiyan works. Even though my modifications to him seem to have precluded a valid experiment. I don’t know if I’ll be returning here again. This place holds too many memories, and I am unable to return home. I might as well learn to make my way amongst these soft, weak ningen. Since Vegeta would never expect me to be here, he’s unlikely to look for me, and I should be safe enough."

Hakusai stopped, and pressed a button. "The next entry isn’t for several years. It looks like... it must have been four years later."

"Six, woman," Vegeta contradicted. "She’s using the Saiyan dating system, isn’t she?"

Hakusai nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, it looks like it. So six of your Chikyuu years." No one commented on the significance of that number, considering what Yamcha had told them earlier. She continued reading the next entry.

"I received a signal today, which hurried me back here to the cave. I didn’t understand it; it wasn’t a signal I’d programmed in, but one that seemed deeply rooted in the programming of the computer. I felt that I had to come and find out what it was about. Oh, I wish I had not come! I have just learned that Vegeta-sei was destroyed. The last outpost sent one final signal, to let any remaining Saiyans know that Vegeta-sei was gone, destroyed by Frieza, that rampaging monster.

"The boy is sitting there, quietly playing in the corner. It took me almost an hour to get him to sit still long enough to write this. Of course he wanted to touch and look at everything, no matter how dangerous or breakable it is. I look at him, and realize that he will never see our home world. I never thought it would be that important to me, that someday he might go there, and be the warrior that he was destined to be.

"Despite my tampering with his physiology before birth, he’s stronger than I would ever have supposed. The joining of Saiyan and ningen must create a hybrid of even greater power than anyone imagined. I can only hope that he will manage to remain hidden, regardless of his obvious strength. I think that even with everything I did to him, someday he might become the most powerful ningen warrior on this world. He will never be on the level of a Saiyan, but that’s only because it’s my own fault.

"What is this? Tears? This weakness is intolerable! Yet I look at the boy and see a weakness in me. Someone could use him against me. This is completely unacceptable. I never thought I would care about him, yet somehow he managed to do this to me. I should not be documenting this, telling others of my failing. I do not know why I am doing so. Having a flaw is bad enough; advertising it for others to exploit is unforgivable.

"I will have to leave him today. I don’t know where, perhaps the desert a few leagues from here. Far enough that he won’t accidentally stumble upon this cave, I think that would be best. He’s only been here this one time; I don’t think he’ll even remember its existence. I don’t want him discovering it, learning what I did to him, learning what he is. Our race is dead, but he is not. I did not tamper with his genes, so his children will breed with true Saiyan DNA. Perhaps through him, someday....

"I hope he will manage to survive on his own. I am sorry now that I crippled him the way that I did, for it will be more difficult now than it would have been if I’d left his power intact. Still, he is already amazingly strong, I think he will survive and grow even stronger. I just wish....

"The boy has no idea what I am thinking. I know he trusts me, he has always trusted me. There’s something about the way he looks at me, that touches my heart in a way I do not like. The tears come again. I do not wish this weakness. No, I will not accept this weakness! This world is making me soft; the boy is making me soft. I must not become so. I can’t accept this. I look at him and see my vulnerability, and I do not like it.

"I thought that someday I might be able to return to Vegeta-sei. Oh, I know Vegeta exiled me, swearing that I would die if I ever returned. But I thought that I might be able to get past that. If I’d been a male, he would have had me killed for my insolence; because I was a female, he merely exiled me. Exile! As though that wasn’t as bad as death! To never see my family and comrades again! And now I know that I never can, no matter what. There is nothing to return to. It is gone; Frieza made certain of that.

"There, the boy looks at me and he smiles. A Saiyan child would never smile. I have allowed him to be weak, presuming that he would stay here forever, that he would never have the strength to be fully Saiyan. I know I was wrong, I suppose that I always assumed that leaving him someday would be easy. It is more difficult than I ever imagined. But leave him I must, and soon, or I will no longer recognize myself. And I am never going to return to the cave again. I have no home now, so this world must become my home, and I must forget everything about Vegeta-sei."

Tears were standing in Hakusai’s eyes when she stopped, and Bulma stared at her, tears streaming openly down her face as well. Yamcha looked like he wanted to cry but wasn’t going to. Bulma saw a strange look on Vegeta’s face, but wasn’t entirely sure what it was. Sympathy? Curiosity? Disgust? She couldn’t always tell what he was really feeling, since he usually covered everything with scowls and frowns.

To be continued.....

~~~~~*~~~~~

And in the next exciting episode of DragonBall Z: A Light in the Darkness... Even more is learned about Yamcha's past - more surprises on the way!

[1] Vegeta-sei years, not earth years. It will be apparent later why there's such a distinction.